Wes Kao · 4 min read · Product Teams
How to coach your team (without making them defensive)
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The article shares coaching tips for giving feedback to tech teams without triggering defensiveness. By framing observations rather than labels, using precise language, and avoiding overly broad claims, managers can keep conversations productive and focused on what people show up as at work. The piece also discusses when debates help versus distract from the main point and why accuracy matters in communication.
Key Takeaways
- Frame feedback as observations and stick to what you can see, not as who someone is.
- Prefer narrow, specific language (e.g., 'you seem X' or 'when you do Y, it looks like Z') over sweeping judgments.
- Avoid overreaching or broad claims that invite argument and distraction.
- Speak with accuracy and clarity about behaviors that influence outcomes, acknowledging the viewer's limited perspective.
- Be mindful of debates: they can be healthy in moderation, but keep focus on the main point and only engage when productive.
Excerpt
👋 Hey, it’s Wes. Welcome to my bi-weekly newsletter on managing up, leading teams, and standing out as a high performer. ⛑️ If you’re looking for 1:1 coaching, I work with tech leaders on managing up, advocating for your ideas, and strengthening your executive presence. Clients include operators at Amazon, Meta, DoorDash, Atlassian, OpenAI, etc. Learn more about my coaching approach . Read time : 4 minutes Did a friend forward this to you? Subscribe to get my posts directly in your inbox: I once knew a CEO who had a habit of telling people, “I know you better than…